My healing journey

You are not alone with your struggles and challenges to heal your life. Because I’ve been stuck and struggling in the past, I’d like to share my healing journey with you.  I hope my story will inspire you to find the courage to take that next step on your healing path.

The good news it that you don’t have to be blocked with unhealthy patterns, habits, and beliefs that hold you back. Many have found healing, clarity and peace in life, and you can too.  Healing is possible.   I did this!  I see this daily with my clients! You can do this too!

My healing journey begins with confusion

In my younger days, I was addicted to sugar, mildly depressed, unhappy, anxious,and jealous, with low self confidence.  I wanted to feel better, to reach my potential, but didn’t know how to begin, or that it was even possible. As a young woman, I was floundering around, not sure which end was up.

Receiving guidance

Looking back over my life so far, I realize that I have been spiritually guided on this healing path. I would ask for healing, and somehow figure out how to follow my guidance where it lead.  I wanted needed and asked for healing from addictions, emotional baggage that held me back in life, and unhealthy relationships.

When I thought about feeling better, asked to feel better, (some might call it praying) the next layer of healing and clearing would occur, gradually and gently. Often, I had to take action, to reach out to  someone who could help me.  Healing was a slow process at first, before I knew exactly what was wrong and how to set my intentions for well-being, and before I know what was possible for me!

 

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Monarch butterfly feeding on prairie flower

Healing an addiction

First, I wanted to heal my addiction to sugar. This was maybe 35 years ago…It was sapping my strength, and keeping me stuck in life. I just wanted to feel better and stop the energy spikes and crashes, crabbiness and cravings that seemed to rule my life, the constant need for my next fix of sugary stuff. As I asked for this healing, soon books about nutrition and food allergies came my way, seemed to turn up from thin air. The information I needed jumped off the page at me!

This was my guidance at work, and I chose to trust it for the first time in my life.  Because I was literally physically sick and emotionally tired of living with this addiction, I decided to cut back, then realized I had to go cold turkey to stop the cravings once and for all. It wasn’t easy, but I wanted to feel good more than I wanted the sugar highs.

(In retrospect, I realize that a counselor could have helped and supported me through the process of healing my addiction, but I didn’t know this kind of help was available to me back then.)

Self-help

The next step was calming my constant feelings of fear and anxiety.  I asked that the low level depression, the negative thinking, the unhealthy relationships that were limiting my choices in life release their grip on me. Once again, I just wanted to feel better, to wake up happy for once!

During this period I read voraciously, finding many wise self help books that resonated with me and helped me find a way forward.  I remember buying Wayne Dyer’s first book, Your Erroneous Zones (with the goofy cover photo) in the 70’s and eating it up!  His advice represented a totally new way of thinking for me. I had to study and practice and absorb this for quite awhile before I was able to integrate his teachings into my life …

Talk therapy

Later, I found a wonderful talk therapist who helped me through a tough time. I felt understood, heard and seen. He helped me understand that I wasn’t crazy, that my beliefs, insights and needs were valid.  He helped me re-frame my thinking to a more positive outlook on life.  This healing experience help me clear more of the depression and anxiety from my life.

Emotional processing

At some point the realization came that I could be an even more active participant in my own healing.  I found a book in the library where I worked that taught me how to process my emotions, to feel them without judgment and let them go… When I began, there seemed to be no end to the feelings.  They kept coming up and moving through me as I sat each day for 20 minutes at a time.  Then finally one day I felt clearer, more open, lighter, with fewer old emotions coming up for healing.  Somehow I wanted the clarity this process gave me more than I feared feeling the old emotions.

I started to feel better, to have a brighter outlook on life, to have periods of happiness and even joy.

Energy Healing

After a trauma at age 50, with physical problems the doctors could not figure out, I found an energy healing practitioner.  I felt comfortable with her and trusted her.   During this process, my chakras were cleared and balanced for the first time in my life, resulting in more clarity and energy, and less physical pain. Those mysterious physical problems were gone!

Shamanic Healing

Later, when more layers of emotional baggage came up for healing- baggage that felt it was stuck in the cells of my body–  I found a shamanic healer who did a soul retrieval, de-possession and past life healing for me. I was profoundly touched and transformed by these experiences!

Helping others

This was the beginning of me feeling that I might be able to help others by doing this work as well. If I could come this far and feel so much better and heal my life to this extent, so could others.

My cup began to run over with health, wholeness, and well-being. Looking back, I realized how far I’d come, as though transformed from a caterpillar to a butterfly.  In retrospect, I wonder how it actually happened.

This was hard work!

This process wasn’t easy!  I wanted to give up many times!  I felt alone and lost friends who liked the old me better, but I had to be true to myself.  I could not and did not want to return to the past where I kept myself small and hidden and unhappy.  I knew I had to move forward and continue to do my own healing work to achieve the life and feelings I strongly desired.

Now I have enough time, energy, attention, peace, and space in my life to be fully present for others in their own healing journey. Now that I’ve discovered the light in me, I can see and know the light in others.

The story continues

I see my medical doctor now and then for physical complaints and routine checkups.  I still go to talk therapy on occasion and receive shamanic and energy healing when I need them.   I continue to receive insights and healing experiences in these sessions that help me move forward in my life.  My healing journey goes on!

Your healing path – intention is key

With intention, clarity, and courage your healing journey can be more focused than mine was.  Begin by gathering your thoughts, setting your intentions and goals for how you want to feel, what kind of quality of life you desire…your health and well-being.

 

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Painted lady butterflies on golden zinnias

Gather your courage

Take the courage to heal your life. Adapt an attitude of single minded focus for the long haul. This is you we’re talking about now. Are you tired of carrying a lifetime of emotional baggage? Do you feel the weight of it holding you back? Are you feeling stuck in patterns that don’t serve you? Are you tired of feeling small and hiding your light?

Trust your guidance

Ask the universe for healing by setting your goals and intentions for the well-being you desire.  Ask for clarity.   Trust the intuitions, signs, feelings, guidance you receive. Carry out the guidance as best you can.

Ask for support and help

Assemble a team of support people that will help you along your path.  This can include therapists, doctors, dieticians, energy healing practitioners, shamanic healers, massage therapists, trusted friends…  Let yourself be guided to the people and practitioners who will resonate with you.

Have self compassion for your journey

Have self compassion as you begin your healing journey.  Have self compassion when you think you should be farther along than you are. Have self compassion when you find yourself repeating old patterns yet again… Have self compassion when you feel unpleasant feelings coming up. Have self compassion each and every day of your life.

Healing is a sacred process that unfolds in divine timing.  Blessings for your journey!

 

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Blessings from me to you!

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How I got off sugar, my story

First, a little history. My maternal grandmother, born in 1904, went hungry at times as a child. When she had children of her own, she made sure there was plenty of food for my mom & her brothers. Food meant survival. Sugar meant love!

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Monarch butterfly on purple coneflower

As a child, I never went hungry. In fact, there was more than enough. We had fresh garden vegetables and fruit in summer, canned or frozen in winter, farm raised meat, fresh caught fish. Most of all, I remember the sweets; soft, melt in your mouth white cake with fudge frosting, creamy home-made caramels and nutty fudge at Christmas, every variety of cookie you can think of …. the list is almost endless. I ate and ate the sweet stuff, and as a teenager, I could sit on the kitchen counter with a bucket of chocolate swirl ice cream on my lap, eating each swirl to the bottom of the bucket, and then eating what was left… the boring vanilla. Embarrassing, but true. I could eat a batch of warm cookies, I could eat a two pound bag of M&Ms at one sitting. No brag, just fact. When they were gone, I’d want more, and I’d want it now!

It was a love affair– well- more like an obsession. The only problem was that after each binge, my energy crashed. The next day I’d have to sleep for hours, then when I finally got up, I was extremely crabby, angry, even. I wanted to lash out at the first person that crossed my path. My body was bloated, and I felt awful, I had bad acne, and no energy. I didn’t like myself. It took me awhile to put two and two together and realize that it was the excess sugar causing my energy to spike and crash.

I seemed to be the only one in my family that had this problem, so I had to figure out how to deal with it on my own. After leaving home, I started reading books about nutrition and food sensitivities. I decided I had a sensitivity to sugar, but still couldn’t wean myself from it. I read that sugar can be as addictive as cocaine! I’d try to cut back, but the cravings seemed overpowering. I had to have that sugar fix to feel better and have energy again – even temporarily.

Finally, I was finally able to get off sugar because I wanted to feel better more than I wanted the sugar!

I was sick and tired of feeling bad physically and emotionally every day of my life! If I didn’t kick the habit, I would alienate all the people around me and end up with diabetes or worse, I would hate myself.

The last sugary thing I ate was a piece of birthday cake at a party over 30 years ago. It was dark chocolate with green frosting. The cake didn’t even taste good! The unpleasant feelings and low energy the next day were the same. The sugar high was no longer worth it! I went cold turkey after that party.

The first week off sugar was extremely difficult, as my cravings took over and I had to distract myself from the screaming voice in my head. “Get a Heath Bar! Just one Peppermint Patty…Eat some sugar. You can’t live without it!!!” Finally, after maybe four or five days of physical and emotional withdrawal, the cravings let up a bit. I made it through the hardest period without back-sliding.

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A wonderful goody basket from a neighbor. A real treat!

It took longer to learn healthier eating habits, new ways to celebrate holidays, new ways to treat myself, new ways to deal with unpleasant feelings the obsession with sugar was keeping hidden. Time passed and my energy level evened out. I no longer experienced the spikes and crashes, the extreme anger and low energy, the unpleasant physical sensations. I felt like a new woman – healthier and happier and best of all, free from sugar! It’s been over 30 years, and I don’t think twice about sugar any more. I don’t miss it, Can’t use it, don’t want it.

It is possible to work through the cravings and emotions underlying an addiction and triumph! When you get to the point where you want to feel better more than you want your substance of choice, you are ready to do the difficult work.  It will be time to face those sometimes scary emotions you have been keeping at bay with your substance. You will be ready to change your life profoundly, for the better.

I recommend getting all the support you can when leaving an addiction behind.  Support people might include loving friends who are on a healthy life path, your doctor, a therapist, an acupuncturist, a dietician, an energy healer, perhaps a massage therapist or other alternative healer.